evan's tv fun facts!

did you know the popular teen star of disney's lizzie mcguire fame was actually born under the name hitlery duff? when the young actress was cast in the role of lizzie mcguire she came under pressure by disney producers to change her name for fear of offending viewers and was not fitting of her image. she obliged and had it changed to the much more acceptable hilary duff, the name we know her by today. the rest, as they say, is history.

Which Way Do You Wipe?

While I was in Louisiana, a buddy of mine (Nick Casavant) mentioned that he had a friend in Boston that wipes his ass from back to front. Being a front to back wiper and having never heard of this I put some serious thought into it. And I came up with a list of Pros and Cons to this form of wiping.

Pros
1. No need to hike up a leg to reach.
2. Greater ease of checking status of cleanup.
3. Less fear of dropping dirty TP while transporting from behind to front (to drop in the toilet).

Cons
1. Smearing shit on you balls (or vaginal region for the ladies)
2. Getting shit caught in your pubic hair, leading to lack of head because of those smelly "dingle-berries".
3. Having to move your balls out of the way to avoid 1 & 2.
4. Who the fuck wipes like that anyways? Fuckin' Weirdos.

As you can see, the Cons greatly outweigh the Pros. So if you wipe from back to front, time for you to join civilization, and learn how to wipe your own ass. That's all for this week. Next time, Female Facial Hair, is the world really ready?

uh oh... fred durst porn

well well, looks like someone has cracked fred durst's tmobile crap now too, although i can't imagine why. dave, i thought you might be interested in seeing your favorite "rock" star doing it all for the "nookie". hahaha, i crack myself up. anyways, check it out if you're dave or gay at fred.pimped.org.

I'm Back Bitch

That's right ladies, I'm back from two weeks of living in tents. Thank god for my iPod and The New Jedi Order book series, otherwise I would've lost it. I should've brought my skateboard but I had no room in fucking bags. Anyways, congrats to Tod for the new job. Evan the new comics, priceless. Your view on The Phantom Menace, well check the PD message board for my response. I hope everybody's doing good out there, not much else new to report. Peace Out Fellaz!

political demon

hey, for those of you on here that dont know about my comic, check it out at politicaldemon.com and lemme know what you guys think.

I am employed again.

On The Road Again

Hey everybody, I'm heading down to Louisiana tomorrow for two weeks. If I have access to the internet I'll try to post while I'm down there. If not I return on the 24th so I'll post when I get back. Laaaaaaaate.

evan's research vol. 1 - wendy's chili

every once in a while a delicious food graces a fast food menu that actually tastes decent, and when it does a cheapskate college student such as myself must act upon it and as wisely as i can. wendy's chili may be one of the greatest additions to fast food in our lifetimes, and it is cheap to boot. the problem is, wendy's offers options and it is hard to know which is the very best. first of all, there are two chili sizes: a small for 99 cents and a large for 1.79, and the question that of course plagued me was: which is the better deal? my research on this matter led me to wendys.com where it is stated (on average) a small chili is 8 ounces and a large is 12 ounces. with this information, one can conclude that the small chili is indeed the better deal. the small averages 12 cents per ounce whereas the large averages 15 cents per ounce. of course, this is just on average as i cannot take into account the small differences in the exact amount the workers put into the cup, the celery ratio per cup or other such factors. but likely the workers are not under-filling the two cups by a total of about 2.5 ounces, which is about what it would take to make the large equal in value to the small.

but the advantages to buying two smalls instead of one large does not stop there. when ordering "to go"; two 99 cent chilis come a lot closer to 2 dollars even than 1.79, so there is less annoying change to deal with. another annoying problem with wendy's is i cannot ever get enough hot sauce and crackers. hot sauce and crackers add valuable extra "weight" to the chili and try as i might to add "can i have a bunch of extra crackers and hot sauce" to my order, they never quite come through in the amount i would like. this likely creates another slight advantage to the two small chilis deal, the workers of wendy's often assume that the two smalls are for two people, thus probably giving more hot sauce and crackers. this purely a theory however, because i have not the means to test it. the only real evidence i have to reference is that i get two spoons with two small chilis at the drive-thru so i would assume that would mean the employees intended their amount of "free extras" to allow for two people.

The Armpit/Appendix/Gall Bladder of America

As most of you know, I'm not very fond of "The Garden State", and feel the scenery and populus is more fitted for Dr. Moreau rather than the semi-jet-setters of it's more popular brother, New York. However, I do feel that there is something to be gained out here, perhaps something Penelope Spheeris could capture with her gritty wit, package, distribute, and then use to depress the masses of America. For the past year and a half, I've been in a rut which I haven't quite been able to release myself from, and not being one to wrestle with bouts of depression, am finding it fairly hard not to feel as if I'm in Hell. In my opinion, Dante didn't have it so bad. But to be completely fair, not everything is horrible. I have my soulmate, a couple of good friends, a good paying job, and a wonderful fat cat to keep me busy. *In a side note, if anyone is selling any good motivation in a bottle, please inform me, Thanks!* Perhaps when our sentence here is over, we'll move home to Ohio, have some sadistically funny stories to share with loved ones, and this whole *&%$ing state will fall into the Atlantic.

j-real and silent dave

im just bored at work, yes its 6am, and i decided this pic (left) is important to be on the secret finger site. we got some random dood to play along like we were sellin to him:



oh and also, there's me and walt flannigan (right).

I'm Dead?

The other day I was bored at work (as I always am) so I did a Google search of my name and found this. If you scroll down a little you'll see a guy of the same name as me who died on my birthday in 2003. Scary, huh?

Zebrahead Without A Singer

I didn't know if you guys knew this, but Justin has officially left Zebrahead. This came as a shock to me, simply because I never saw it coming. Apparently he was unhappy with that fact that the music they were making hadn't changed since the beginning. So it wasn't a huge fight or anything, just going their seperate ways. Luckily for us Justin has joined a new band called I Hate Kate. They have a view tracks on the site to preview, and it sounds really good. Now it's not the happy go lucky Zebrahead sound, it's a more serious kind of emo/punk. So keep your eyes posted for more for Justin's new project. You can also check PureVolume for more songs.

my prediction for the superbowl

well at least for the half-time show:

Cartoons

Just so that everyone is aware. American Dad premieres tonight on Fox sometime around 10:30, and the new season of Family Guy starts on May 1st, same channel.

Styx?

I probably would name it Styx, but I would use an upper case "S" because it's proper. Remember it's a name (band and river). So show some respect.

The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy

For those who have never read "The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy" I recommend that you do. It is hands down one the of the funniest damn things I've ever read. If you have already read it, then this will make sense. I was over at ComingSoon.net looking up info on the movie adaption set to be released May 6th. One of the main characters, Ford Prefect to be exact, is the funniest character of the whole story (think Banky from Chasing Amy with less profanity and gay bashing). When I heard they were making this Andi and I both were hoping with all our hope that Jason Lee would be playing Ford. Simply put, he was made for the role. But upon viewing the cast list I see that Mos Def is playing Ford. Now aside from what Evan & Kris had said over the years, I'm not prejudice in anyway. But, FORD PREFECT IS NOT BLACK!!! This is just like when they had Michael Clarke Duncan play Kingpin in the movie Daredevil. I mean is it really that hard to stick to the character. I mean if they cast Colin Farrell as Blade there would have been an uproar. As previously stated, I'm not prejudice but when you grow up with an image of a character in your head and some hollywood F*ck-Wad thinks that they can change the character from what they've always been drives me insane. So there's another movie ruined for me before it's released.

the reverend al sharpton the turtle

this is a super close up view of my turtle, the reverend al sharpton. you can guess who he is named after. however, i get the feeling if tod had this turtle he would name it styx.

My Retarded Ass Cat Cyprus

This is Mine & Andi's cat Cyprus looking like a retard like he normally does.

Proof I Went To Rome

For those who doubted that I went to Rome, here's proof.

The New Blog

Hello brothers, this is the new Secret Finger Blog. I feel like it's difficult to keep in touch sometimes, so this way, we all will post here. I hope to here what's new from all of you. Secret Finger Fo Life.