Which Way Do You Wipe?

While I was in Louisiana, a buddy of mine (Nick Casavant) mentioned that he had a friend in Boston that wipes his ass from back to front. Being a front to back wiper and having never heard of this I put some serious thought into it. And I came up with a list of Pros and Cons to this form of wiping.

Pros
1. No need to hike up a leg to reach.
2. Greater ease of checking status of cleanup.
3. Less fear of dropping dirty TP while transporting from behind to front (to drop in the toilet).

Cons
1. Smearing shit on you balls (or vaginal region for the ladies)
2. Getting shit caught in your pubic hair, leading to lack of head because of those smelly "dingle-berries".
3. Having to move your balls out of the way to avoid 1 & 2.
4. Who the fuck wipes like that anyways? Fuckin' Weirdos.

As you can see, the Cons greatly outweigh the Pros. So if you wipe from back to front, time for you to join civilization, and learn how to wipe your own ass. That's all for this week. Next time, Female Facial Hair, is the world really ready?